And so, what you have is actually
the hottest accessory this fall.
Yes, it's a real must-have.
It works when you're going out,
it works when you're staying in.
And I know, for me, what I love about it
is that it looks like a normal baby pouch.
That's right.
But it's actually filled with...
- hummus! - My God!
Look how cute!
So then, it turns out that it's not her actual last name.
She's been using a dummy name.
Sean told me that she changed it.
She's not even married. I don't know why she had--
Hey, guys.
Welcome to Wolf and Grandy. How is everyone tonight?
- Just... - Good.
...kind of in the middle of a story, but--
Great. So, have you guys dined with us before?
We have. Um, she has not,
and she's never been to a restaurant before.
- Sorry, what? - I'm sorry.
I'm right. Right, Maggie?
- You haven't been here before? - No, but I've heard stunning things.
No, I meant, Ma'am...
you've never been to any restaurant before?
That's correct.
I was raised in the Canadian wilderness of Nunatsiavut
by a pack of wild dogs, and I'm only recently
integrated into society,
so I might be a little... blagh!
But, please,
don't let me interrupt you do your spiel.
I won't be too annoying.
Also, one question.
Are these your underpants?
Okay, great.
So, if you look at the top of our menu,
the little section is obviously going to be
things on the smaller side.
I...
I'm pretty hungry, so...
So, I might... I might need your big food.
Okay, well, here at Wolf and Grandy, we don't do big.
We do littles, middle nibbles, and then slabs.
You guys,
we have to get the scallop crudo slab.
It's amazing.
Guys, unfortunately,
we are out of the scallop crudo slab tonight.
I'm so sorry.
No.
No!
I'm...
I'm sorry. Do we scream now?
No, you don't have to.
Kim and I were just bummed about the crudo.
Yeah. We're fine.
This place is amazing.
Whatever you pick will be awesome.
Okay.
Okay, so... Um, any food allergies,
dietary restrictions,
- whatever? - Yeah.
Actually, dairy is like, a total problem for me,
and it's a big mess for everybody else, so no dairy.
I'm up for eating the spinal cord or stomach, whatever's left over.
I'm also totally down to watch you guys eat
and then you vomit, and then I can lick whatever's left off your faces,
but you'll probably be sleeping or pooping by then, so...
And also, I don't eat dairy, either.
So, no...
- No dairy. - No dairy.
I actually have like a little bit of a questionnaire.
On the cocktail menu,
the Lay Low, My Sweet Lover...
...says that there's gentian in it.
Is that in a gentian amaro or gentian liqueur...?
- It is an amaro. - It is.
Okay, that's disgusting.
I'll have two vodkas.
Okay, great. Can I get drinks started for anyone else?
Yes. I will have the IPA. Kim?
- ...I think I'll do this... - ...rosé.
- I knew she was gonna say that. - He knew that.
- I knew she would say that. - He knew.
Shot in the dark here.
Do you have warm milk from a nipple?
No, no, we don't.
- No. - It's no problem.
I will just have water.
Will you do me a favor?
Okay. I'm gonna work on those drinks and give you guys a minute.
- I love the painted brick accent wall. - Ooh...
Sorry, it-- Painted brick, it's sort of, played out.
So...
I'm so embarrassed.
Girl, do not worry about that. You'll learn this stuff.
Okay.
So, we have
a raw pork nest
- cradling a quail egg... - Ooh!
...with a sprig of ramp.
- Wow. Look at that. - Little gift from the chef.
- Ooh... - Gift?
But we didn't get him anything.
No, no, no, sweetie.
Um, he gives this out to everybody, and he calls it a gift,
but it's really more of a brag.
- No... - So, do you guys
- need a few more min-- - No, no, no!
No, no!
No!
This meat died scared!
It died on its knees!
It wasn't ours to take!
No!
No! It wasn't ours
to take!
No! We stole it
from the Great Mother!
Nell!
When the game heats up,
there's no slowing down.
When I'm going hard in the paint, I don't have time for distraction.
I just wanna focus on some ball, not on what I'm wearing.
And now, you don't have to.
Introducing Nude Toned bike shorts.
When I'm out here hoopin',
I ain't got time to be worried about clothes.
This is basketball, baby!
This ain't a fashion show!
You'll love Nude Toned bike shorts because...
It's the closest I'll ever get to playing basketball naked.
Before Nude Toned bike shorts,
basketball was hard.
Sorry, guys. I'm just a little distracted by my shorts.
Not with Nude Toned bike shorts.
Now, we can focus on the game.
I got next.
Here, my guy.
Hey. Thanks.
Nude Toned bike shorts. You look naked,
but you're not.
Now available in Freckle and Hair.
- Great game! Yeah! - Brought to you by Traegus,
for the problems you don't have.
I'm way too big, and I wanna go back to before.
Coming up, we all know we're going to die.
But are you?
One expert says yes.
You're gonna die.
I'm Laura. I'm 35 years old,
and I'm from Traegus, New Jersey.
- And it's... So sad. - Gross. Help her.
I like my clothes, but I wonder how I really look.
I know my friends love me,
but I don't think they're being honest.
No, Laura. You look so good.
Fierce, sexy diva, rock star mama, queen.
So cute.
Girls will be jealous of all your jelly.
I don't know.
- Your milkshake is so creamy. - What?
It's creamy.
Look out, weekend. Here she comes.
Look out, weekend. Here I come.
So I'm here today to get the honest opinion
of three moms from the Tri-state area.
I'm Deb.
I think you should play up your good features,
and hide your bad ones.
I'm Marie.
I've always struggled with my thighs, and I like to think
that I passed that neurosis onto my daughters.
I'm Ronnie.
and I think women should wear stockings,
because they're sexy.
Also, because knees
are the wrinkled elbows of the leg.
Holy shit.
What're you saying with this?
That I'm a feminist with a to-do list.
To do what?
To make all these boys
come to the yard.
What the hell does that mean?
To slay all day.
Rosé.
Yeah.
You carry all your weight
like right here, you know?
You'll always be a little thick right here. A little bulky.
You can't diet that down. Yeah.
Your chin is great.
- Great chin. - You should go with...
something-- Play that up.
I have an idea. Go in the dressing room.
We'll bring you some clothes.
But I'm serving a hot look.
Go in the dressing room! We're gonna bring you clothes!
Well, I brought you three moms here for your wisdom.
So I guess I have to listen.
- I hear some buzzing. - Just a little bit.
- She doesn't have to be 12 ft. tall. - Are you ringing?
Platforms?
Mom Alert.
- I don't know. I think I just-- - Give me it. Let me see.
What, you turned it off?
- No. - Wait, I got it. No, wait.
- I think it has to be this-- - No, you gotta--
Let me just-- Ooh, wait. You're calling-- I'm calling someone.
You're Facetiming someone.
- Give it back. - I had something like...
Doesn't it spread open?
- Can I have it? - It's off.
I don't even think this thing is on.
Are you sure it's on?
- It's Facetiming-- - It's on, look. See?
Wait. I'm on an app.
Yes!
- Yes! - Yeah, absolutely.
- Say "yes". - You look fine.
- What a change. - Yes, exactly.
You feel it, girl. That's right.
Now, this is an outfit.
Miss Amer-- Miss America.
Look at you. Look at you.
I feel old.
You are old.
You're 40. Aren't you 40?
- I am 35! - Really?
- I don't think so. - She's not.
I just need to make this my own.
Don't itch too much.
You know what they say,
"If you've got it, flaunt it."
Look out, summer. Here I come.
There's stuff going wrong there...
There's nothing really right about this.
Go.
What is books? And could it help
for people brain be less dumb?
We talk...
We'll say it later.
After the break.
You guys, game night is the best.
- Yeah. - It really is.
What should we play this time?
How about charades?
It's kind of boring.
Maybe Apples to Apples?
Fuck you! That game sucks shit!
- I was just-- We were brainstorming. - You know...
Jesus Christ.
I know what we could play!
Introducing It Me!
The personality party game that'll keep you guessing.
I love that game!
He loves it!
He loves It Me!
- Let's do it! - Yeah!
- Let's do it! - Let's do it!
Okay.
Um... I'm obsessed with a certain kind of food.
It's a kind of food that everybody loves,
but I'm always posting about it.
I'm always saying like, "Nom, nom, nom."
Um, and if it were Valentine's Day, I would say that this food's my date.
You're the girl whose whole personality
is that you love pizza.
Yes! It me!
Yes!
Um... I'm a person who...
I act like life is really hard,
and I want you to think that I'm very stupid.
I can't do basic things.
I want people to treat me like a small, small baby.
Your whole personality is talking about how adulting is hard.
It me!
Yeah!
- You're so good. - Yeah.
The party game testing your knowledge of people
who just have their one thing.
You know 'em.
Okay, I'm...
kind of putting on a fake persona?
Ooh! You're the woman who says she's always down
to go to a strip club with men.
Damn, that was fast. It me!
- Me too. - Well, it me too.
- Okay. - It me too.
Okay, this is a good one.
I just went through a breakup, and I'm, like, "Time to check the scope."
Someone who's always abbreviating everything.
No.
Someone whose whole thing is that they live in a submarine.
No. Wait, what?
- What? - I know.
The person who's into astrology,
but, only when
- their life is going poorly. - It me!
The game pack comes with tons
of personality cards, which include "Mom who does triathlons,"
"Someone whose whole thing is weed."
"Person who pretends to have a question at a Q&A,
but it's really just an excuse to monologue about their life,"
and more, including the brand-new couples expansion deck.
All right, we're not gonna get divorced,
but we definitely do have issues.
The whole thing might be a sham...
The couple who has a Red Sox themed wedding!
It us!
It us! It us!
It Me! has over 15 different fun categories.
Okay, I'm the person if you came over
to my house for dinner, we would say things like,
"These, we call these daddy beans."
The person whose family has fucked-up names for food.
Yes! It me!
It me! It me!
Okay, I'm someone who calls bee pollen
"a creamy treat."
You're anorexic.
Um... My friend is actually anorexic,
so please, don't say that.
You're someone who gets offended on behalf of people you know.
But otherwise, you don't actually
get offended, and we're all like, what's your deal?
Do you actually have to know someone to be offended?
It me!
Whoo!
Okay, um...
I'm the worst.
Ooh.
- That's true. - I'm the worst.
Ooh!
You're someone who says they're not really that political--
Yes, that is the worst.
But no, I'm... I'm the worst.
Someone who's really good at karaoke even when everyone else is bad at karaoke,
and it's like, "Why don't you be bad like us?"
No. I'm... I'm.. the worst.
The friend who's always reading books about milk!
No! What friend is that?
No. Come on, you guys. I'm the worst.
You're a middle-aged man who puts
his hand on the small of your back,
and gets offended when you say you're creeped out.
It me!
Yes! Creepy!
Ooh, someone who believes in ghosts.
Someone who posts non-stop
about their social media break.
Someone who's always breaking their neck, and then never getting it fixed.
- No! - Who are the people you know?
I don't know...
- It me! - It me!
It me! It me!
Girl...
it be me.
Lock me up in jail
and throw away the joke,
'cause you better believe this me.
It me!
And there was still sand in the plastic timer.
Buy It Me! and spruce up game night today.
I'm me!
I don't know how to play the game!
And guys, fellas,
you might think you have a normal life,
but could your wife be
a bit of a dude?
We'll sit down with the creator
of the hit show, Husband Wives, when we come back.
Motherfu--
I'm Patricia Palmer,
and I'm the CEO of Dermapress,
the world's most successful skin graft company.
I guess my day is... pretty typical.
I wake up at 4 a.m. and run full speed
up a vertical treadmill until I see black.
I then make a quick water and bone marrow smoothie,
and take a titanium helicopter to the office.
Here, I spend most of the day going clomp, clomp, clomp
all around the building in my high heeled shoes,
and doing big meetings about buying skin.
I have a boiling hot latte for lunch,
and once that throat stops bleeding, I do an Ironman.
I don't have a lot of free time right now,
because last month I gave birth to three Teslas.
I'm writing a book about feminism
called Don't Stop, You Weak Bitch.
I hope little girls read it.
I guess I'm just a relatable girl's girl everywoman.
Stay Traegus. You'll have to get Traegus.
I'm Sammy Nashville,
and this is "The Step and Cry."
Let's mess some shit up and get hurt.
Yeah!
Did you guys fuck with the scale?
Yeah!
It's a really shitty number.
Dude, we're the same size.
- You saying I don't look good? - I'm not saying that.
I'm saying I work out a lot. Like--
Why are white women so weird about their weight?
Hey, you know what? Now I'm mad. I'll hug you guys.
All right, what can we do?
- I hate men. - Who needs love?
Mom Alert. Just watched a new show,
forget what it's called.
Dad didn't like it,
and I fell asleep.
Okay, so,
what is this?
I don't know.
And how does it work?
I don't know, I...
I found it.
And then I came here. I got-- I came here on...
To the-- to the show.
Cool. So...
Can you tell us a little bit more about it?
I... I came on to--